Category Archives: Humor

Ode to the Halitosis

inspired by the poem generator at

Halitosis, you inspire me to write.
How I love the way you waft and hover,
Invading my air all day into night,
Reminding of a departed lover.

Shall I compare you to a passing stench?
You are too exhaled, airy and dental.
Like a fog of farts around a park bench,
Latest autumn’s scent of pungent fennell.

How do I sniff you? Let me count the ways.
I note your miasma, flavor and breath.
Thinking of your tailed odor fills my days.
My memory demands a judgmental meth.

Now I must away with a burning heart,
Recall these varnished words whilst we’re apart.

Holiday Haiku

Holiday Haiku #1

Sledding in the park
Push, rush, hold tight, steer, Steer, STEER
Cold mouthfuls of snow


Holiday array
What is the perfect greeting?
“Have a nice solstice”?


Empty parking lot
Wal-mart employees sent home
With empty pockets


Blinking twinkling lights
Hypnotize the dog and cat
Silent night indeed

Holiday Haiku #5

Awoke in Town Park
Snowy and surrounded by
Manger, menorah


Children rise early
Anxiously hovering near
Their parents’ alarm


Elmo and Patsy
On the radio again
Hand me the hammer


Midnight bells outside
Broken shingles in the snow
Boot stains on the rug

Holiday Haiku #9

Colorful landfill
Tied in bows and jolly wreaths
Who will unwrap you?


Who baked these cookies?
They’re funky, but taste okay
What’s this stuff on top?


Dancing Santa Claus
Flapping Fish, musical bear
Pulsing temple pain


They can stay up late
Give the children chocolate
Maybe they’ll sleep in


Bad Comic Strip Titles

Considering the good comic strip titles that are out there, it’s not so easy to come up with definite failures right out of the gate.

  • Donkeys in Disgrace
  • Ramses the Great, Private Detective
  • Love Finds Marcel Proust
  • The Padded Cell that Is My Mind and the Papoose that Is My Pancreas