by Craig Brownlie ($10 paperback, $2.99 eBook)

Art by Douglas Draper

Mira, Sterling, Igor, Lionel, Farrah, Gil, and Brian are a family with a long history. They go years without speaking, but somehow always find their way back into one another’s lives, even if those lives are undead.

Enjoy an excerpt:

Chapter 1: Thanksgiving Dinner Is At Igor’s This Year

The Monster dragged his heavy feet up to the counter and placed his passport before the INS officer. “Morning,” he said with a voice which sounded fresh from the grave, resonated across a bone xylophone, and vibrated through a henge of granite.

The officer held the photo up for comparison, “Is this you?”

“I’ve had a little work done since it was taken.”

“I see you have dual citizenship. You’ve been in Canada for a while. I hope you haven’t overstayed your welcome.” The officer sounded cheerful about it. Pembina, North Dakota, tended to be slow at 3 a.m. on a Tuesday.

“The people of Belcher have been very welcoming. I don’t always run into kindness.”

“Purpose of your trip?” The officer dropped the passport.

“I’m joining friends for holiday dinner.”

“Labor Day cookout, ehh?” smiled the officer.

“Thanksgiving.”

“You’re a little early.” The officer retrieved the passport and compared it to the paperwork. “It shouldn’t take so long to reach anywhere in the lower forty-eight.”

“You’d be surprised what I run into.”

The officer grinned. “Sterling t. Gray is your legal name? Lower case t? What does it stand for?”

“The person who made the passport for me said it stood for ‘the’.”

“I’m afraid you’re going to meet my supervisor,” said the officer.

“This is what I meant.”

Read all the Little Books of Pain:
#1 Hammer Nail Foot
#2 Thick As A Brick
#3 The Book Of Practical Monsters