Deep in the remote history of this planet where we keep all our stuff, a young librarian named Hunh sat on a small rock behind a big rock piled high with stone tablets. Under the hot summer sun (between endless ice ages filled with school and more school), cave-lings scampered thither and yon, raving like yet another generation of Neanderthals. Occasionally, the wee ones would collapse from exhaustion and whine, “Ugga mugga bugga boo” (“There’s nothing to do”).

Cave-parents looked to the helpful Hunh, who would wedge a stone tome from the pile and lob it heavily in their general direction. More often than not, the tablet shattered, leading to the invention of marbles. Yet one day, miraculously, the tablet remained whole. A tired cave-let examined the flat rock closely. “Hey, there’s words on here!” And so the library summer reading program was born.

In its 50,000th year (give or take a millennium), the New York State Summer Reading Program’s theme is Books: a Treasure! Generally speaking, children sign up at local libraries and receive prizes for reading over the summer. Libraries across the area are getting into the spirit with a wide variety of activities and displays.

Highland has a magnificent pirate ship filling the children’s area. Gates has “A Pirate’s Life for Me!” on Thursday, July 20 (Ages 5-10). Pittsford has a hidden pirate alcove. Maplewood is letting children make a treasure chest on Wednesday, July 26. The list truly goes on and on and on with every library filled with buried treasure and every librarian sharing a weensy bit of the little pirate-bouncing-on-the-plank of their heart.

The website for the State Reading Program is www.summerreadingnys.org. The Monroe County Library System provides links to local event calendars at www.libraweb.org.

July, 2006

“You are a menace. A walking pestilence.”

Here at the Family Valued pixel playhouse and pastel pressroom, we are interested in anything that furthers socializing. Toward that end, we are experimenting with exposing small groups to dinner and a movie. Ideally, the movie is something no one in attendance has seen in a long time. The food should lend itself to a lack of utensils.

Our first victim was the original Planet of the Apes because it was rated G and was sitting on the library shelf. Two of the adult males had fond memories of the film (though it inspired eye-rolling “oh yeahs” from the rest of the adults).

The movie starts more slowly than we remembered; network television probably edited out the seemingly endless walk through the desert which occupies the first third of the film. On the other hand, all you Planet of the Apes buffs can only imagine how grateful we were that the protagonists did not forget the TX-9.

I did notice fewer forays for food once the apes appeared. One adult began muttering, “This is so weird,” which seemed remarkably apropos. We’d all forgotten that Rod Serling was involved in writing the film and were impressed by the heavy amounts of philosophy mixed in with the action. Much to our surprise, we ended up discussing the appropriate places of religion and science in society. Who knew that heavy rubber masks could spark such thoughts?

I can’t imagine how it received a G rating; one character is shot and killed on screen, another is shot in the neck, prisoners are beaten, and the results of a lobotomy are shown. That being said, the film’s violence had nothing on Harry Potter or most current pre-adolescent fodder. Lastly, the DVD cover reveals the film’s final surprise, so hide it from anyone who doesn’t know.

March, 2006

We here at the Family Valued paperless office, open-air garden shed, and maladapted pressroom have randomly selected a ten-year-old from among the one immediately available.

So, what do you think of when I say anthropomorphic espionage?
I think of some word that I don’t really know what it means and spies.

What have you been reading lately?
Two books about a spy cat (The Stink Files by Holm & Hamel); and I’m reading a third one which is out. And I’ve read one book about a spy mouse (Spy Mice by Heather Vogel Frederick).

What’s with the animal agents?
Probably because people like spies. It’s America and there are a lot of spies. They were in the First World War and World War II.

When do these books take place? What happens?
Modern times. The plot for Spy Mice: there’s these two children and they get bullied by mean people and they find out about this spy mice agent, Glory Goldenleaf. The big villain is a rat. He has his own spy organization. He has Glory’s father prisoner and they try to rescue him.
The Stink Files books are about Mr. Stink, a.k.a. James Edward Bristlefur. The first book is about him adjusting to city life because he’s from London and he’s used to being out in all that open space.

You know London is a city, a very large city?
It’s not as cramped, you know. The second Stink Files is about a cat show and chasing down a villain in the cat show. The third one that I’m reading is about James Edward Bristlefur winning a contest and him being treated like a king. Cats think of him as the king of Catlandia.

What’s your favorite part of the books?
“Do you expect me to beg for life?” “No, Mr. Stink, I expect you to die.”
I would definitely recommend them.

May, 2006