Every day, I find myself more grateful for and more appreciative of those who came before me.  One of those was George Washington.  217 years ago, he issued a proclamation declaring our first National Day of Thanksgiving, concluding “[We] beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions…; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shown kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.”

It’s a good time to be a skeptic, but you knew that.  And upstate New York is a great part of the world for skepticism.  The Committee for the Scientific Investigation of Claims of the Paranormal is right around the corner at 1310 Sweet Home Road in Amherst.  They’re the folks who publish Skeptical Inquirer magazine which lets you ponder Yetis and weeping Virgin Mary statues and palm reading without insulting your intelligence.  Such luminaries as Carl Sagan and Isaac Asimov were involved in the early years of the organization.  No other magazine explores concerns about dead Beatles and theories of intelligent design in the same volume.

Amherst also boasts the headquarters of Prometheus Books, which has been building a remarkable backlist since 1969.  Sagan, Asimov and others cross over from the CSICOP fold, but the Prometheus family is huge in comparison even to mainstream publishers- a hundred or so books published each year.  Among my favorites are: Shockingly Close to the Truth!: Confessions of a Grave-Robbing Ufologist by James W. Moseley and Karl T. Pflock and On the Wild Side: The Big Bang, ESP, The Beast 666, Levitation, Rainmaking, Trance-Channeling by Martin Gardner.  Moseley spent much of the past fifty years as a player in the UFO subculture.  He gossips a great deal and reveals a lot of the reality of pulling the wool over your neighbors’ heads.  It’s the book that Moseley says he’s been trying to write all that time.  One of the major players in the popular science crowd, Gardner makes sense of nonsense- the motivations and misunderstandings that drive people to idiocy.  The world might just be a saner place if everyone read a little Martin Gardner and worked a little harder at separating reality from fiction.

May, 2006

So rarely does pop culture send out tiny brilliant flares that I want to hide the ball for a moment, so let me begin with this e-mail: “I have recently read your article to the [Kansas] school board.  You seem to be arguing that the FSM created the earth.  I believe the God of the Bible created the earth.  Your argument states that schools should teach evolution, intelligent design, and FSM creation….The teaching of Intelligent Design does not promote my God any more than yours or anybody else’s for that matter….Your letter gives the impression that you want your religion to be taught.  I believe that is wrong.  We may have different beliefs about how the universe came into existence but we both believe in Intelligent Design.”

The email was sent to the official website of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (“FSM” above; www.venganza.org). The email references a letter from the Church which argues that their beliefs also be taught in Kansas schools along with Intelligent Design.  FSM beliefs are primarily: 1) the Flying Spaghetti Monster created everything; 2) the Flying Spaghetti Monster will mess with your science if you try to prove otherwise; and 3) the shrinking number of pirates is responsible for global warming and other environmental disasters (a graph proves it).

Like most faiths, self-described Pastafarians have a gospel, some apparel (“sacrilicious”), scattered decals, and good quotes.  “In the beginning, He created a mountain, trees, and a midget.”

And yet, how many other faiths strive so fully to shine light in the darkest homes of ignorance?  If even one bulb lights over a single head, then the Flying Spaghetti Monster has served all mankind, just as we can serve Him, ideally with a light garlic sauce.

May you be forever touched by His noodly appendage.  RAMEN.

August, 2006