To all Northwest Little League Families and Boosters!
Welcome back for another great year of baseball and fun! As many of you have expressed concerns to me over the past few months, let me say right up front that we do plan to put last year far behind us. Still, let’s not forget the lessons learned! As they say, “objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear”! Bearing that in mind, let’s review some news and changes for this, our glorious 47th season! (For those expressing concern that last year was also our 47th season, let me remind you that the paint used on the fences last spring was donated by Mundy Hardware. According to the EPA, we should be able to celebrate our 50th season back in Bloomington Park in three short years!)
-The retirement of Coach Kennedy means we’re looking for a fresh face to manage our T-Ball team. As some of you know, Coach K’s wife gave birth to twins during the final game of last season, giving the Kennedy’s just enough to field a team of their own (and all under the age of eight!). Hurry back, Marc! We’ll miss those wild-haired tantrums and red-eye practices!
-This year’s opening Day ceremonies will feature Britney Spears and former President Bush!
Just kidding! Let’s remember to laugh together all season long! Hard and often!
-Seriously, Sheriff’s Deputy Malcolm “Dizzy” Cosgrove will be back to sing the national anthem, accompanied as always by his brother on accordion and his nephew on sousaphone. And Commissioner Bloomington may again have some “fireworks” in store if he can make it across the state border before the big day! Let’s hope for the best and get your Independence Day orders to Lou by mid-March.
-Our umpires this year will be coming from South Barton. For those of you unfamiliar with South Barton, it is 60 minutes due south on the interstate in light traffic. Let’s be sure to give these newcomers a traditional big Northwest welcome before every game. And keep in mind, we never double-park beside an umpire’s car!
-Reminder to all parents and players: athletic protection is not just for catchers. Be sure to wear your cups to every practice and game. Also, attend our pre-season training session: Dodging Hard One-Hop Ground Balls Is A Moral Imperative. This session is required for all coaches and infielders by our new insurance carrier. In a related matter, our best wishes go out to Tamla Bindle in his continuing recovery. We understand the remaining wounds are only psychological. So, if you see Tamla on the street, give him a big Northwest Little League pat on the back and tell him how much his voice has lowered.
-As usual, please review the revised list of words that should not be heard in the stands. This year, the entire list has been translated into Pig Latin due to the demonstrative efforts of Mrs. EnnedyKay and Mrs. LoomingtonBay. Our thanks go out to Kennedy Farm Products for providing the “Language Enforcers” to volunteers from Northwest Evangelical Lutheran Church who will be seated among our fans.
-As with the second half of last season, we’ll be playing behind Northwest Middle School on the soccer fields. Because of our need to coordinate with summer soccer, there will be no Saturday practices or games. The volunteers from Northwest Evangelical Lutheran Church have requested rest on Sundays, so all games and practices will be scheduled on weekday evenings. Through mid-May, please park near the sidelines and train your headlights on the base paths. If possible, practice catching fly balls at home during the day. The soccer league has requested that we watch out for divots and avoid hanging from the soccer goals. That means you, parents! Ha, ha! Really.
-Realizing that your humble commissioner may be from a different generation, let’s take this opportunity to remember that facial piercing and headfirst sliding do not mix, as we all learned from Dominic Kennedy last season. Once again, our gratitude goes out to Dr. Bindle for reattaching Dominic’s eyebrow. Who else knew that you could sterilize baseball stitching in Gatorade?
-The annual awards ceremony will be one week after the final game of the season. Golden Parent Awards will be given to every parent or guardian who attends every game. Since so many of you are using these in custody hearings, Family Court has informed us that attendance can only be credited for sitting in the stands or on the sidelines. Beer drinking in the parking lot no longer counts.
-Last, but not least, the Middle School will be closed during summer evenings. The fast food restaurants along West Macon Avenue have requested that our players and especially their parents be reminded to use the bathroom before leaving home for games.
Let’s make this our best season ever! At least, let’s make it our best 47th season yet!