Celine Dion, Volare, Nana Mouskori, Katrina & the Waves, and, most of all, ABBA. And this year: the hard rock band Lordi, whose lead singer, Mr. Lordi, creates his own costumes with plastic skulls, reindeer fur, etc., etc.

For those of you who haven’t guessed, today’s topic is the Eurovision Grand Prix (or Eurovision Song Contest). For fifty years now, the other side of the world gets together and tries to find a really good song that they can play on their radios until blood comes out of their ears. As of May 20, dateline Athens, that song will be Hard Rock Hallelujah by the Finnish band, Lordi. Yes, they had European Idol a long, long time ago. And it’s a broadcast hit from Egypt to Ireland. For crying out loud, the Ukrainians hosted it last year and opened their borders so that fans from participating countries could come and go as they pleased. Try that with Simon Cowell’s dressing room some time.

This is not an amateur contest. Participating countries are allowed to submit one song (selected by any means available; Serbia & Montenegro were banished for an inability to select a song), which is then performed by a musician or group who do not have to be from the originating country (i.e., Canadian Celine Dion). Each country ranks everybody else’s songs through two or so rounds and a winner is selected. Fame and fortune follow. Nowadays, you can visit www.eurovision.tv and follow the results from anywhere on the planet. You can also hear snippets of the songs or buy the complete set of entries, should you need to know what happens when good songs get writ large.

May, 2006